My first blog! Wait, no, I had one for work a few years back, before I changed career paths from hot (in a nerdy sort of way) software developer to still hot (in a frazzled, frumpy sort of way) stay-at-home mom. So that means, technically, this is my second blog. But on this one I can actually write whatever I feel like!
So let me just get right down to it. I have a "Spirited" (love that term) 2 year old son, Ethan who lights up my day every morning (before the sun has a chance to!) and a 5 month old Sleepless Beauty of a daughter, Salla, who is a serious drama queen already. She's either cooing, laughing, and squealing, or screaming her little head off like I'm pinching her all over (which I swear I'm not!) Anyway, my son was not such a great sleeper as an infant and at 5 1/2 months my husband and I decided, after reading (and re-reading over and over again) Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child, to finally let him cry-it-out. Now, I know it was not fun, and it probably took longer and was much more painful than I remember (kind of like childbirth...) but for some reason, in retrospect, it wasn't so bad and he took to it quite well. Now, my dear daughter slept 8-9 hours a night for the first 3 months (tightly swaddled, which I still use as a crutch today...). I said "Thank you God! You've blessed us with an "easy" baby!" Hmm. I take that back now. Something happened around 3 1/2 months and it all went down the toilet. Night sleep AND day sleep. I was SO frustrated, number one because I knew I had to wait AT LEAST a few more weeks to start any kind of sleep training (and that seemed like an eternity), and second because I was all proud of myself and thought I was the baby sleep guru and I was shocked that I could have screwed up so bad the second time around! (Gotta love mommy-guilt). I lasted about 2 weeks before I just couldn't take it anymore (mind you, my husband was away for 3 weeks while all this was happening!) and had to let her cry. It had gotten to a point where my sure-fire soothing method (i.e. nursing) wasn't working and she would just cry when I held her and cry when I put her down. I felt hopeless and completely inadequate. I was miserable and I don't know how I was able to keep up with my 2 year old during the day. So, there began the crying. And it worked! sort-of...Now, a few weeks later is seems to be getting worse again. And I think the culprit is her day sleeping (or lack there of!) She hardly naps at all. Most days she'll get 2 35-40 min naps in. That's it. I just have not been able to let her cry for naps! The 2 times I tried she cried for the full hour. Maybe it's because I have another child who has to listen to her cry too, but I just don't have any will power during the day. And now I'm losing my will power at night. I feel like someone flushed the toilet again. I need to take a DEEP breath and re-group. I probably need to start over and this time, suck it up, go outside with my son, and let her cry for naps as well.
On the up side, I am officially working on getting her to sleep unswaddled. I was very reluctant to give it up since it's certainly a sleep cue for her and helps her fall asleep for the evening. But, the more I thought about it, the more I felt like it could be a hinderance to the sleep training since it certainly limits her self-soothing options (i.e. hand sucking or moving into more comfortable positions). So, tonight, she is officially sleeping with one arm out! HA! I did it! I thought it would be much worse, I couldn't quite get her to sleep before she finished nursing so I had to lay her down sort-of awake (which typically does not go over well with Salla) But I also gave her a little blankie/animal thing that she grabbed onto. She protested for a couple minutes and then went to sleep....(and I started breathing again). The rest of the night remains to be seen, but hopefully tomorrow night, both arms will be free!
Wish me luck! I'm done tonight's rant...